


Regrets

by psychoticauthor (pschotichauthor)



Category: Horimiya
Genre: Angst, Drama, Dramaaa, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I LOVE HORIMIYA, Romance, please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 01:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7554523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pschotichauthor/pseuds/psychoticauthor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about Hori Kyouko and Miyamura Izumi years after their break-up. A story of regrets and forgiveness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I have been posting my oneshots in AO3 :D
> 
> Anyway, this is a oneshot for the canon HORIMIYA and I'm sorry if the plot is all over the place

It had been five years since I went back but it felt way longer than that because I no longer recognized the places and buildings of my hometown. Some years after I graduated from high school I decided to leave for the city and there I earned my degree. But apart from going to university and achieving my dream it felt that the city became my form of escape.

An escape from the pain. An escape from the memories that I knew would haunt me if I ever stayed.

Miyamura and I had a talk before we graduated senior high. It was a very long and serious talk. I told him that I planned to take up law on a university in a city that was a plane ride away. But he, on the other hand, wanted to help in their family business. That meant he wanted to stay in our hometown and hoped that I would stay with him. He wanted me to study on the community college near the town an hour of train ride away. When I heard him said that I realized that what we wanted to do for our futures did not really match. But I still tried to reason out with him.

" _I was hoping that you would take baking lessons in the cooking academy you admired!" I told him in a frustrated tone. "You would study there while I take up law on the university near your academy!"_

During that talk we learned of each other's plans for ourselves and for the other. It made me realized that we did not consider the opinions of each other for what we planned for the both of us and for our future together. In the end we both ended up with a distorted plan of the future. We wanted to plan a happy future – a future wherein we would still be together. But it seemed our dreams and aspiration collided with each other. Thus, the future we hoped for vanished in thin air and all that was left was the fact that one of us had to give up on their own dream in order for us to be able to stay together.

But we did not really have an answer to how we would face the dilemma. But for the sake of my love for him I decided to give up on my own dreams. I stayed in our town and took English Teaching in the community college nearby. Miyamura was happy and I was happy that he was happy.

And I wished for it to never end.

But every day, when I woke up, I asked myself if I did the right thing. And somewhere deep inside my head was a scream of a helpless no. There was not a day when Miyamura and I did not get into an argument because even the tiniest detail of how the cake seemed too sweet triggered a fight.

And probably. he got tired of me.

Because one day I saw him with a girl. It was girl whose face I did not recognize, or probably I knew her but I was too occupied with my self-loathing that I did not realize that she had already made her existence known to Miyamura. While I stared at them I felt a pang of jealousy stabbed my heart.

He was mine.

" _No!" My mind shouted. "The moment you started doubting your decision you already pushed him away. So, he was not yours anymore."_

And I hated myself for being weak. I hated that my resolves crumbled. I hated myself that I did not try and met Miyamura halfway.

_If we have just talked it out would we be able to come up with a solution? Would I be able to take up law while he tend to their business, and we still stayed the same?_ On the back of my mind, I knew that we could. But back then while I was making up my mind I was afraid that I would lose sight of him – of our love. And because of that I made the wrong decision and everything went downhill from there.

While I stared at Miyamura with that girl on his side I noticed how happy he looked. It was the kind of happy he had reserved for me back then, but I guessed it was not exclusive for me anymore.

Probably it was right – the superstition that when you stare at someone for too long that person would feel your presence. Because Miyamura turned around and saw me. And he looked shocked. I was not sure if it was because I caught him with another girl or because he saw me crying but he looked like his life got taken out of him.

And that day I decided to end everything.

The next morning, I took the earliest flight to the city of my dreams. I spent five years there and never went home even for vacation. My mom and Souta made sure to visit me whenever my brother's school took breaks. I did not have any more reason to go home.

But now after five years I was back. I immediately spotted the familiar back of a certain past as soon I set foot on the garden where the reception for Toru and Yuki's wedding was set.

And just liked as how I last saw him Miyamura might have felt the stares I directed towards him. He looked over his shoulder and saw me made my way to where he was standing together with the newlywed.

"Hey!" I smiled at him.

He returned the smile, "It's nice seeing you again, Hori-san." He put the glass of wine he was holding down on the table.

"You too, Miyamura-kun."

I turned my attention to the loving couple in front of me and congratulated them with my happiest smile. "Congratulations on your wedding, you two! I never would have guessed!"

My best friend beamed happily at me and tackled me into a tight embrace. "I'm glad you made it Hori!"

I wrapped my arms around Yuki and smiled back at her, "Of course! I would not miss it for the world!"

A lengthy conversation was exchanged between us and if it were not for Toru Yuki and I would have chattered all day long. With Toru's arms draped over Yuki's hips they excused themselves from Miyamura and I, and went to the other guests to pay their gratitude.

The smile on my face slowly faded. I let out a small sigh and started to take a stroll. And not so long after I started wandering around the place I found a pond just behind the building where the guests would be staying for the night. I removed my heels and buried my feet on the soft yet ticklish green grass where I standing on. Not long after my mind wandered off somewhere, to the past, to the present, to the would be future, and to the what ifs. And I was too engrossed on what I was thinking that I would have not noticed Miyamura sat next to me if it was not for him clearing his throat.

"How have you been doing, Hori-san?" He started. His eyes were looking at the purplish-orange sky.

"I'm doing fine. Great, even. And you?" I stared at his beautiful profile.

"I am good. I am already the head baker of our pastry store so I am ecstatic!" He took his gaze off the beautiful sky and turned to me with a smile on his face. His smile was contagious that I even smiled back at him - genuinely. _I have not done that for years, huh?_

"That's good news! You have finally achieved your dream!" I said clasping my hands together.

"How about you, Hori-san?"

I sighed and stretched my legs on the soft bed-of-grass and then looked at the pond in front of us. "Me? Well, I am already working on a legal firm in the city. It is quite busy but very fulfilling."

Miyamura nodded his head as if saying that he was glad for me. "That's great to hear," he said while he stared at the two almost-entwined flamingos on the pond. "I knew you could do it!"

When I heard him said that he knew that I could achieve my dream it made me happy that I was not able say anything back. The silence enveloped us. But it was not the awkward kind of silence that a couple who broke up always experienced. It was the kind of silence that was somehow forgiving. And we relished on it.

For minutes we just sat there, watching the two flamingos broke apart from each other and went their separate ways. And I giggled for I thought that they somehow resembled Miyamura and I.

"K-Kyouko, did you regret loving me?" He looked at me with sadness and regret reflected on his eyes.

And I had to admit that I was taken aback. _Because he called me by my first name? Because of his question?_ But I gave him a smile and hoped that it reflected the feelings I had for him.

"Izumi, I didn't and I wouldn't ever. For me, it was the greatest love I have ever had. But you know what? I think we were immature back then. _I_ was immature back then. We fell further in-love with love that we forgot how to love each other and ourselves. But nonetheless, I was happy. And I hope you were too."

The sadness was gone and he was smiling back at me with the same smile he always showed me when we first started dating. "I was. And I thank you for that."

I took his hand on mine and entwined our fingers with each other. _It felt warm._ And as the sun set on us we watched the two flamingos found their way back to each other.


End file.
